Many people associate the holidays with sparkling lights, warm gatherings, and the cozy glow of family togetherness. It’s a time we anticipate with joy (if also a measure of stress), a period marked by traditions that bring comfort and cheer. Yet for survivors of domestic abuse and their families, this time can be a vicious storm that is dangerous and debilitating to navigate.
Fortunately, nonprofits committed to ending domestic violence run special holiday giving programs to address this problem. Here are some of the challenges survivor families face between November and February each year — and why programs that help you buy Christmas gifts for families in need also offer one of the most impactful ways to give back this holiday season.
Why the Holidays Are Especially Hard on Families Impacted by Domestic Violence
There is often not just one survivor of domestic abuse in any relationship, but for survivors who have children, an entire family. For families affected by domestic violence, the holiday season can amplify existing challenges and create new ones, turning what should be a time of celebration into one of apprehension and dread.
Stressors That Increase the Risk of Violence
The period from November through February (including the Super Bowl) often sees a rise in domestic violence incidents. This trend can be caused by factors such as:
- • The added time and effort spent on purchasing gifts, planning meals, and hosting
- • A heightened emotional pressure to maintain cheerfulness
- • The stress of interactions with extended family members
- • Increased alcohol consumption
Limited Access to Support
Paradoxically, during a time of increased need, access to support services for domestic violence survivors can be limited due to reduced holiday hours and limited service capacity at shelters. This makes it even more challenging for individuals to seek help or leave abusive situations, effectively trapping them with their abusers.
Constrained Finances
For families already facing economic insecurity, holiday expenses can strain budgets and exacerbate pre-existing tensions, which can escalate to abuser violence. In addition, financial abuse — present in an estimated 99% of abusive relationships — can severely limit a survivor parent’s access to, use of, or maintenance of financial resources. Even if a parent has left their abusive partner, the lasting economic effects of this can make it enormously difficult for them to afford a festive holiday season for their children.
Isolation and Emotional Turmoil
Survivors may experience profound loneliness if they are unable to connect with loved ones due to safety concerns. Conversely, the pressure to engage in family gatherings can be a source of immense stress and risk. They may also grapple with conflicting emotions, anger, and grief. Negative memories can make the season overwhelming and emotionally draining. Children, too, often struggle, especially if they are in an unfamiliar environment away from their home.
The Pressure of Holiday Normalization
The pervasive cultural expectations of experiencing togetherness and joy during the holidays can be a particularly cruel illusion for those experiencing abuse. It can cause survivors to feel less able to speak up or seek help, or they may feel pressure to downplay or normalize the abuse around family and friends.
How Adopt-A-Family Giving Programs Offer Resources for Hope and Healing
Given these challenges, many domestic violence shelters and related advocacy organizations have developed a dedicated holiday adopt-a-family program, providing crucial support and a sense of normalcy for families impacted by domestic violence. These holiday giving initiatives play a vital role in transforming the holidays for survivors.
How Adopt-a-Family Programs Work
Family support programs connect individuals, families, friends, and corporate groups with the clients of domestic violence organizations, enabling them to “adopt a family for Christmas” by making personalized holiday gift donations.
For example, Connections for Abused Women and their Children (CAWC) runs an annual adopt-a-family program that kicks off every fall, allowing donors to “adopt” clients and commit to purchasing three gift wishes for each family member. Each gift is typically valued at around $25, totaling approximately $75 per individual. CAWC gathers donor pledges and matches them with families’ holiday wish lists. Then donors buy Christmas gifts for a family in need and donate them before the holidays.
Providing Hope and Empowering Survivors
This type of program for giving offers far more than just material gifts; it provides essential emotional support and a pathway to healing and empowerment:
- • Meeting immediate and essential needs. Donations provide crucial immediate relief by fulfilling basic needs and wishes that survivors might not otherwise be able to afford. This support goes beyond gifts, often including necessities that contribute to a family’s stability and comfort during a difficult period.
- • Providing access to comprehensive support. Contributions to organizations facilitating these programs go beyond immediate holiday needs. They fund essential services such as emergency shelter, legal assistance, counseling, children’s programs, and educational resources. These services are critical for long-term stability, healing, and breaking the cycle of violence.
- • Fostering validation and resilience. When a community rallies to support survivors, it sends a powerful message that they are seen, heard, and valued. This communal support fosters resilience, helping survivors feel less alone and more confident in their journey toward a life free from abuse. The act of giving validates their experiences and acknowledges their strength.
- • Restoring normalcy and joy. For children, receiving gifts during the holidays can restore a sense of normalcy and joy that may have been overshadowed by their experiences. It allows them to participate in the festive spirit, creating positive memories amidst challenging circumstances.
- • Breaking the cycle of abuse. By providing resources and a supportive environment, these programs empower survivors, especially women with children, to envision and build a healthier future. This is crucial for disrupting the intergenerational cycle of violence, creating safer environments for future generations.
The Gift of Giving: Brightening Your Own Holidays
Participating in an adopt-a-family program not only transforms the holidays for survivors but also offers profound benefits to donors, enriching their own holiday experience and fostering a deeper sense of connection and purpose:
- • Increased happiness and well-being. Research suggests that spending money on others can lead to a greater boost in happiness than buying something for oneself. Acts of altruism are linked to improved health, increased happiness, and a stronger sense of purpose for the giver. The rewarding feeling of giving back can inspire continued charitable work throughout the year.
- • Meaningful holiday traditions. Incorporating giving into your holiday traditions — from Giving Tuesday throughout the festive season — can create impactful and lasting memories for you and your family. These shared experiences of giving back can foster kindness, compassion, gratitude, and a deeper connection to your community.
- • Mindful consumption and connection. Engaging in mindful giving helps individuals avoid the pressures of commercialism and focus on choosing gifts from the heart. This approach emphasizes shared experiences over material goods, strengthening relationships and creating lasting satisfaction for both the giver and the recipient.
- • A sense of unity and gratitude. Volunteering your time or gathering donations for those in need contributes to a powerful sense of unity, generosity, and gratitude. These feelings are central to the happiness derived from holiday celebrations, allowing you to appreciate your own blessings while making a tangible difference in the lives of others.
This holiday season, consider supporting families impacted by domestic violence by participating in CAWC’s Adopt-a-Family program. By doing so, you become an active part of breaking the cycle of abuse, fostering resilience, and spreading genuine holiday cheer to those who need it most.
Support Survivor Families This Holiday Season With CAWC
At CAWC, we believe that everyone has a right to a life free from abuse and violence. Our mission to end domestic violence in all demographics is rooted in education, service, and advocacy. In addition to working toward broader social change, we provide empowerment-based and trauma-informed support in the form of shelter, counseling, and advocacy for individuals and their children affected by intimate partner violence.
You can impact the life of a domestic violence survivor or a child who witnessed domestic violence by participating in our holiday Adopt-a-Family program.
You can also support our work in other ways. Consider purchasing items on our wish list or volunteering in any of the many roles we have available. Stay connected with CAWC as we create awareness for domestic violence and build support for its victims by signing up for our newsletter. Join us today!