Coercive control does not always look like abuse from the outside. It often unfolds quietly, through everyday rules, restrictions, and pressures that slowly shrink a person’s freedom until fear and compliance feel unavoidable. Understanding how coercive control works and why it is so damaging is essential for recognizing abuse that leaves deep harm without always leaving visible marks.
What Is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a pattern of intentional, ongoing behavior designed to exert power and dominance over another person in an intimate or family relationship. Coercive controlling behaviors go beyond isolated incidents of physical violence to include a broad range of tactics that systematically restrict a person’s autonomy, independence, and decision making over time. Coercive control can be defined as an intentional pattern of behavior that takes place over time in order for one individual to exert excessive and harmful power over another.
The effect of coercive control is to make a person dependent on their abuser by isolating them from external support, depriving them of independence, and regulating daily life in ways that erode freedom and self-determination. Experts, including domestic abuse researchers, liken the experiences of survivors in coercive control relationships to being entrapped in a world created by the abuser in which the victim’s reality, choices, and rights are systematically undermined.
How Coercive Control Works
This form of abuse differs from one-off acts of physical violence in that it is ongoing, cumulative, and often invisible to outsiders. The insidious power of coercive control techniques lies in their combination of psychological, emotional, financial, and sometimes physical elements, all woven into a regime of domination.
Some of the key signs of coercive control include:
- • Isolation from friends, family, and support systems. Abusers may restrict contact with loved ones, prevent attendance at social events, or monitor communications to cut off emotional support.
- • Micromanaging daily life. This can involve controlling what the victim wears, where they go, what they eat, and when they sleep, effectively regulating every aspect of their routine.
- • Sexual or reproductive abuse. Abusers exhibit controlling or manipulative behaviors that influence, restrict, or force the other’s sexual or reproductive choices. This could mean pressuring their partner into starting or ending a pregnancy, sabotaging contraception, or intentionally exposing a partner to sexually transmitted infections (STIs). These actions of influence are often called reproductive coercion.
- • Financial control. Controlling finances can mean denying access to money, monitoring all financial transactions, preventing the survivor from securing or maintaining employment, or withholding resources so the survivor cannot act independently.
- • Humiliation and degradation. The abuser may use repeated insults or belittling comments, or otherwise deliberately make the victim feel worthless to erode self-esteem and reinforce the abuser’s dominance.
- • Psychological manipulation. This tactic involves persistent criticism or actions intended to make the victim doubt their memory, judgment, or sanity. Many clinical sources identify “gaslighting” and “triangulation” as examples.
- • Threats and intimidation. Threatening harm, punishment, or consequences for noncompliance creates fear and forces obedience without overt physical violence in every instance. The abuser may threaten to harm the survivor, family members, or even pets.
- • Monitoring and surveillance. Abusers may use technology, such as spyware, or excessive questioning to track a partner’s movements, communications, and activities.
These tactics work together to diminish a person’s sense of agency and self-worth, ultimately fostering dependence on the abusive partner and limiting opportunities to seek help or exit the relationship. Over time, even seemingly “small” acts of control accumulate into a pervasive system that restricts freedom and choice.
Recognizing the Harms of Coercive Control
The psychological and emotional impact of coercive control can be profound and long-lasting. Research suggests that exposure to coercive control is strongly associated with conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), complex PTSD (CPTSD), and major depression. These effects can persist long after the relationship ends.
Some of the documented mental health harms include:
- • Chronic anxiety and hypervigilance. Living under constant scrutiny and threat can train the nervous system to remain on alert, even in safer environments.
- • Depression and loss of hope. Persistent degradation, isolation, and negation of autonomy contribute to deep emotional distress and feelings of helplessness.
- • Trauma responses. Many survivors exhibit trauma symptoms similar to those seen after prolonged exposure to life-threatening situations, including intrusive memories, avoidance behaviors, and emotional numbing.
- • Erosion of self-identity. Continuous psychological manipulation and control can leave survivors unsure of their preferences, capabilities, and self-value.
How to Identify Coercive Control in Your Relationship or Someone Else’s
Recognizing coercive control can be challenging because it often unfolds gradually and may not include visible injuries. However, warning signs may include:
- • A partner who constantly monitors or criticizes your behavior, isolating you from support systems
- • Sudden or increasing restrictions on your finances, freedom of movement, and social interactions
- • Frequent humiliating remarks meant to undermine confidence and self-esteem
- • Feeling afraid to make decisions or express opinions due to anticipated repercussions
If these patterns are present, it is important to seek support from professionals trained in domestic abuse and coercive control, such as counselors, advocacy organizations, or legal advisors.
Coercive control is one of many forms of domestic abuse that extends beyond physical violence to encompass psychological, emotional, and economic domination. Awareness of how coercive control operates, its wide-ranging harms, and the signs to look for can help individuals identify abusive dynamics and seek appropriate support.
Help Survivors Regain Control of Their Lives With CAWC
At Connections for Abused Women and their Children (CAWC), we believe that everyone has a right to a life free from abuse and violence. Our mission to end domestic violence in all demographics is rooted in education, service, and advocacy. In addition to working toward broader social change, we provide empowerment-based and trauma-informed support in the form of shelter, counseling, and advocacy for individuals and their children affected by intimate partner violence.
If you or someone you know is actively experiencing the impacts of abuse or sexual violence, don’t hesitate to call our 24-hour crisis line at 773-278-4566. For nonemergency support, reach out through our contact form today.
Want to help us protect more survivors and children? You can impact the life of a domestic violence survivor or a child who witnessed domestic violence by donating to CAWC today or by supporting our work in other ways.